I was so grateful for all of your incredible responses to my post about conquering self-doubt. In addition to your thoughtful comments, DMs and emails there were a lot of requests to create similar content so I thought I’d kick of this week with some positivity. Negativity creeps into our lives in a lot of ways, whether it’s through social media, tv, “friends” or complete strangers, and it’s exhausting. Positivity makes us feel good, happy, excited and energized, while negativity does the exact opposite. The reality is, we are in control, and attitude is everything. Today I’m sharing some of the ways I get rid my of negativity and how to start each day with a grateful heart.
Digital Detox – I mentioned this a little bit in my self doubt blog post, but it’s so important to take a break from social media. That probably sounds a little odd coming from a blogger that spends A LOT of her time on social media and also relies on it to make a living. But if we’re being honest, social media makes everyone feel like shit at one point or another. And why wouldn’t it? It’s a place where everyone shares the best version of themselves and their life. It’s a highlight reel. That’s not to say there aren’t lots of great things about it. Social is a way to connect with people and discover new things and I love that, but it can also be a black hole of comparison and feeling bad about yourself. The thing is, actually going out and doing stuff, like experiencing life, is a lot more fulfilling than scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. Again, it’s all about balance. I’m not saying delete all your social media accounts and smash your phone, just take a break every now and again, and unfollow any accounts that make you feel crappy or give off negative energy.
Assess your friend group – Think about how you feel before, during and after you’ve spent time with a friend. Do they make you laugh? Do they lift you up? Do they make you feel good about your life and yourself while still being honest and truthful? If the answer is no, that’s probably not a good friend. My motto is to focus on the quality not the quantity of your friends. Anyone that’s putting you down, stressing you out or making you feel like you’re not good enough doesn’t belong in your life. That goes for all relationships. I know family is complicated, but you can limit the time and energy you spend on people that don’t impact you in a positive way.
Get Your Fitness On – I notice that if I go too long without getting a good sweat I start to spiral. I get anxious, stressed and negative. I feel so good after a hard workout whether it’s barre or a yoga class. I find yoga to be really good for my mental health and always leave feeling positive and happy. Nothing like getting your zen on to get rid of negative thoughts and feelings. A quick five minute meditation or breathing exercise is also a great way to start the day.
Eliminate Reality Television – I might get a lot of flack for this one but honestly I stopped watching reality tv years ago and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I don’t wanna make you feel guilty for watching it so please, if that’s your way to unwind and you enjoy it then by all means ignore this advice. We all have our shows so I totally get it. Personally, reality tv just made me feel bad and honestly gave me anxiety watching it. The next time you go to turn on a reality show whether it’s Real Housewives or the Kardashians (is that even still on I have no idea?) think about how you feel after. If you don’t feel good, maybe try something else and see if it has a different effect. Disclaimer: I actually do watch one reality tv show, American Pickers, because Craig loves it. But seriously there’s nothing negative about Mike and Frank, those two are the bomb.
Be Grateful – I love this quote, “When you love what you have, you have everything you need.” The moment you start acknowledging all of the things you have to be grateful for is the moment you stop worrying about all the things you think would make you happier. It doesn’t have to be grand. There are so many small moments and things that if we take the time to notice, can change the course of the day or even your life.
Practice Self-Care – I keep hearing the phrase self-care recently and I think it’s because everyone is realizing its importance. Thinking and feeling positive can be pretty difficult if you’re stressed, tired and burnt out. Set aside time every week for self-care. For me it changes, I like to get facials and mani/pedis as a treat to myself, but I also have non-monetary things I do for self-care. This summer I’ve been taking Friday afternoons off to go for a swim with Craig and Nora. It’s just a few hours but it’s a special time we spend together and it makes me so happy.
Be Kind – Making someone else feel good will make you feel good too. Whether it’s a compliment to a stranger, taking a friend out for lunch, or everyday courtesies like holding the door and saying “please” and “thank you.” We all get wrapped up in our own lives, our phones, our jobs, and we forget to be nice to one another. I know how good it makes me feel when someone is kind to me so I try to extend that same kindness in my everyday life.
When All Else Fails Try Pinterest – I’m a sucker for a good quote (case in point, this Pinterest board). Find positive affirmations and quotes that make you feel empowered. Write them down in a journal or save them somewhere so you can go back and read them. In the spirit of positivity I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes lately…
These are incredible tips on getting rid of negativity. Definitely a good pinterest quote puts me in a good mood!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Nothing like a good quote! xx
I think that being kind is my biggest way to get rid of negativity! Whenever I’m in a really bad mood, I remind myself to be as kind as possible, and it always ends up making me feel better!
I love that Ashley. Totally agree, can’t help but feel good when you’re kind. xx
I love this post, so many great tips. Personally I find that smiling and being nice to others helps when negativity creeps in. Also when negativity creeps into my life these days it’s often because someone has hurt my feelings. When this happens I remind myself that that person is probably hurting and that is why they are mean or rude so I tell myself to be the better person and keep trying to send positivity their way. Thank you for sharing I absolutely love this post.
http://www.forthewonderer.com
You’re so right! That’s such a great point. Often we forget to take a minute and put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. You never know what someone else might be going through. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts xx
this is a wonderful post jess…why I love your blog so much. you are real and down to earth with an amazing natural style. unlike the blogs that do make people feel bad about themselves with their enormous bouquets of pink flowers, designer purses, and starbucks beverages on the front seat of their cars…
You’re so sweet Ann. Thank you so much, tryin to keep it real over here and I’m so thankful for your readership and support xx
Thanks for sharing this post Jess! I totally agree about your point on reality television. I notice that after watching certain reality shows like real housewives and Bachelor/Bachlor in Paradise I feel more stressed. Watching all the anger, yelling, negativity and backstabbing starts to get to you after a while. I try to remind myself that it isn’t “reality” but I think some of our lives would be better without those types of shows.
Have a wonderful week!
Deanna
I wrote a similar post today about easy ways to take care of yourself. In this social media age, it’s so hard to remember to properly take care of yourself. I love your tips on negativity!
Pink Champagne Problems
Love this! Such a great post, lady!
Thank you thank you than you!!!
I needed this today!
Xx Carla
Great post! I love all of these tips. One thing I find that helps get me out of a negativity funk is just listening to some good music. It always lifts my spirits and gets me into a positive place. It’s surprising how powerful music can be sometimes. That and hanging out with the pups =)
love this post and I’m with you on the reality TV I think it brings the worst out of people, but I’m sure some are more positive. Also reading business related and even self help books is much more enjoyable to me.
xo
Pinksole
Such a great, great post! I find it that getting rid of people who are “emotional vampires” from my life, detoxing from social media and being grateful are the best ways for me to have much less negativity in my every day life.
https://lartoffashion.com/visit-croatia-d-resort-sibenik/
Thank you for mentioning television. While everything is not all terrible (I watch shows like everyone else) I don’t think people realize how much a show can really influence your mood. My siblings and I grew up without a television (we had a screen and would rent/buy films and shows we wanted) and many people thought we were extremely sheltered and closed off but that wasn’t the case at all! We just understood that certain media could negatively affect us, and we chose to watch and take in the things that we found good. I think in general people are willing to admit when a movie, film, book, or show does something good for them, but they don’t often take the perspective that something could be bringing them down. It is defintely a quieter way negativity can sometimes enter our lives. Thanks for sharing!
Mary
https://www.themarycurator.com/
You are the best, Jess! Just what I needed to read today! Thanks. xo
I loooove the idea of assessing your friends. I realized recently that I have a friend group who just talks badly about everyone, and it was such a downer. It was like they loved when others failed. Schadenfreude to the max. Not healthy! do you do Pure Barre? It is my absolutely favorite workout. It’s so fun to be around such kind people, too!
xxoo
Mary
http://www.BelleOnTrend.com
I absolutely loved this post! I’m totally bookmarking it for the future. The one I struggle with is negative people, and unfortunately most of that is related to family. I agree, that family is complicated, so the best thing you can do is to limit your time and energy with people (family members) that create negativity in your life!
Lisa
http://www.theeverydayelevated.com
Such a lovely post. All your points are dead on. Assessing my friend group one I have to do.
Inez | My Small World
Love this post! I am at a crossroads with some women in my friend group and your suggestion really made me reflect on these friendships. Thank you! I am new to your blog and I love it!!
I woke up this morning I was definitely headed towards a depressive episode (UGH). So, I’ve been going through my favorite blogger’s pages to find some uplifting reads and this one I needed. On eliminating reality tv… I’ve even eliminated negative tv, too. I’ve found everyone I know loves loves loves the office because it’s hilarious and accurate. I just can’t get myself to watch it because the underlying negative tone and themes make me really sad and uncomfortable. everyoen honestly make sme feel crazy for this. Reading this article helped me realize I’m not the only one whos impacted from consuming negative thins, even something as small as a tv show.