How to Stop Caring What Others Think

Jess Ann Kirby wears an LSpace Jaclyn dress with Sam Edelman Gala Sandals for a beach day in Newport
Jess Ann Kirby styles an LSpace Jaclyn dress with Sam Edelman Gala Sandals for day at the beach

There’s been a recurring theme in many of the questions I get on Instagram and I couldn’t quite pinpoint it until last night (at 9:30pm-past my bedtime, I stayed up too late). All the questions are somewhat similar but they all, to me, are surrounded by the same issue, caring about what other people think. To some degree at one point or another I think we all care what others think of us. My 13-20-something year old self cared a lot more than I do now. As I started thinking about and how I could offer up some advice, it reminded me of when I first started this blog in NYC 5 years ago. I was terrified to start a blog, almost embarrassed. One because I didn’t really have any purpose behind it and had no idea what I was doing, and two because I was so afraid of what people would think of me. I have always been a bit of an introvert, which is also why up until the last year or so I haven’t really shared anything personal about myself on this blog. It has been a learning and growing process for me, but if I hadn’t taken that risk 5 years ago, how different my life would look right now. A lot of my IDGAF attitude came with age and experience but also with the realization that I’m happiest when I make decisions for myself. Nobody knows me better than me. I know I’ll never make everyone happy. I know there’s just some people that won’t like me or approve of everything I do, I’m ok with that. Being able to make decisions and live your life on your own terms without worrying about what everyone thinks is powerful. It will not only build up your self-esteem and confidence but it will bring you happiness and fulfillment. Letting go of what other people think about you is a skill that takes practice. Here’s some things to think about if you find yourself in a pattern of getting wrapped up in what others think about you. Would love to know how you guys feel about this topic. Let me know in the comments.

Ask Yourself

Why do I care what others think?
What do I really want? Think about the decisions you’d make if you weren’t afraid of judgement from others.
What’s the worst that could happen if I do this thing/make this decision?
Am I being true to myself?

Remind Yourself

You’re never going to please everyone. People will dislike you, people will judge you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You only get once chance at this life, make it count.
Nobody is perfect, NOBODY.
Vulnerability is ok. It’s important to take risks. It’s important to fail. That’s how we grow and learn.
You know yourself best. This is something I’ve learned over time. I know what makes me happy, sometimes I make mistakes. I’ve had failures but I figured it out.
To live in the moment. Stop worrying about the “what ifs” and focus more on being present.

Jess Ann Kirby throws on a white cover up dress for a casual beach day look
Jess Ann Kirby heads to the beach in an LSpace Jaclyn Cover up Dress

Outfit Details

L*Space Jaclyn Dress (wearing XS)
Sam Edelman Gala Sandals
Straw Tote
Smith Polarized Sunglasses
Missoma Mini Fang Necklace
Missoma Large Horn Necklace
Missoma Cuff Bracelet

9 Comments

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  1. Katie says:

    Thank you for this post! I’m definitely going to sit down and journal about those questions you have written. I’m almost 25 and started a blog a year and a half ago, and I’m still in the “embarrassed about it” phase. I’ve enjoyed following your story because you seem so comfortable with the choices you have made and the life you have built. I hope to get there some day!

  2. Nina says:

    Just copy and pasted that whole “Remind Yourself” into my notes. This might be my favorite post. I love everything about your blog and all the positivity you share xoxo

  3. I think this is so true! To some degree and up until a certain point in our lives we do care what other people think because we’re ultimately afraid. If your brave enough and lucky enough, you can let go of that and learn that you are much happier and more successful being true to yourself.

  4. Megan says:

    This post stood out to me! I’m only 21 and struggle with this every single day. For me, most of it is self-image, but when I take the time to ask why I hate my body it always goes back to the thought that others will think I look bad, fat, ugly, etc.. not caring definitely is a process and take practice within your self. I catch my self a lot and try to remind myself that I’m just me and that my body is the most important part of me.

  5. Stephanie says:

    Thanks for keeping it real, you set a perfect example of how to stay true to yourself! The world needs more of that!!

  6. Aimee says:

    Thank you for this post! I’m 21 and i’m Just now starting to get over the whole not caring what anyone thinks about me.. it’s still so hard and I still feel myself holding back a lot of the time. I started my blog 4 years ago and I was always so scared to tell people incase they judged me but now I tell everyone because i’m so proud of it! There is still some things holding me back but i’m Trying to get over it and just do it!
    X

  7. Meg says:

    Hear, hear! This is phenomenal advice.

    I’m 40, and while age isn’t a magic bullet, I feel like each year past thirty I age directly reduces the number of f*&$s given by a moderate but appreciable amount. I feel like as you accumulate the evidence and experience that NO ONE ever has it ALL figured out (And that’s okay! And we’re worthy of love and respect anyway! And this is how we are lifelong learners!), the self-imposed pressure to be perfect and infallible and liked by everyone decreases.

  8. Carrie says:

    This quote by Winston Churchill has served me well:

    “When you’re 20 you care about what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring about what everyone thinks, and when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

  9. Sophia says:

    I’m 23 and have always struggled with this issue. This post has some really great points, you’re really an inspiration ❤️