Jess Ann Kirby styles Agolde high waisted skinny jeans with white ankle booties and a faux fur coat

Why I Stopped Going to Fashion Week

Jess Ann Kirby pairs a faux fur coat with skinny jeans and white ankle boots
Jess Ann Kirby dresses up a tee shirt and jeans with white ankle booties and a faux fur coat

When I started my blog fashion week felt like a necessity. It was the place where everyone who was anyone had to be. The first fashion week I went to I felt stupid, insignificant and out of place. I didn’t belong. Season after season I kept going back. Every year twice a year it would be that time again, when it felt like everyone was talking about getting ready for fashion week. And so I’d go through the motions and plan outfits and figure out what shows I would go to (the ones I was invited to anyway). And every time I went I felt a bit more insignificant, irrelevant and sad. To the point where I would absolutely dread the time of year when fashion week would come around. 

My goal with every piece of content I create for this blog is for it to have purpose. It should be meaningful in some way. If you’re a regular reader, hopefully by now you’ve noticed that I put a lot of thought, time and energy into my content, whether it’s an outfit post, a recipe or a travel guide. But fashion week for me lacked purpose. I wasn’t going to create valuable content for all of you (and there are plenty of people already doing a great job at that). Every time I went I asked myself the question, what am I doing here? I couldn’t come up with an answer. 

What I eventually realized is that it wasn’t fashion week, it was me. I just wasn’t that into it. How could a so-called fashion blogger (now I’d say lifestyle, but I digress) not care about fashion week? I felt like a phony. Not only because I didn’t like going to fashion week but because I kept pretending I did. 

Living in the age of social media can be strange at times. No doubt there are so many amazing things about it, but one of my least favorite things is how, no matter who you are or what you do, it can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. Like you are not enough. It can make you question decisions and doubt yourself. It can make you feel insignificant and unimportant. I know this not only because I’ve felt this way but so many of you have reached out to me after something I’ve posted on Instagram stories about the “truth behind an Instagram” and said thank you or that it made you feel better about your own life. I hope I’m not getting too off track here but my point is I don’t ever want to make you feel insignificant or unimportant or like my life is better than yours. Trust me it’s not. We all struggle with a lot of the same things. We all have good days and bad. We all have messy bedrooms and dishes in the sink. Take time to identify the things in your life that make you feel good, that let you shine, that make you feel confident and proud. We don’t have to be everything to everyone. Just because I have a blog doesn’t mean I have to be at fashion week. I’m doing perfectly fine without it, and I can guarantee it’s doing perfectly fine with out me. 

Jess Ann Kirby accessorizes her winter look with Le Specs sunglasses and a beanie
Jess Ann Kirby styles Agolde skinny jeans with white booties and a faux fur jacket

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22 Comments

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  1. Cathy says:

    I love this post thanks for being honest I also believe that not everything is for everyone doesn’t make us less of a person ?

  2. julie says:

    Yes exactly – the energy & thought you put into your posts is what I love about your content! I can’t tell you how many things I’ve purchased from viewing it on your blog. So thank you for always keeping it real!

  3. Shloka says:

    You know what babe you have to do you. If you don’t find it valuable then there is no point because you have to stay true to yourself and that is awesome!

    x
    Shloka
    http://www.thesilksneaker.com

  4. Meghan says:

    This is so spot on, Jess! I went to my first NYFW in Sept, and even though I had such a blast with my blogger friends, there was so much about the week that made me feel inadequate, not special, not as important as others who seemed to be at alllll the shows, alllll the parties. I love how you’ve chosen to stay true to what works for you, and realize that it doesn’t have to be the be all end all (because IG deifnitely makes it seem like it is haha)

    Xx, Meghan

  5. Cecilia says:

    Amen to that. I, personally, don’t see the point of fashion week. When Fashion Week is upon us, I usually check which celebrity is going and what they are wearing. The rest is noise to me. Everyone is different and I’m glad to read that you are staying true to yourself.

    Kinds Regards,
    Cecil

  6. I completely understand how you feel. I’m not into Fashion Week either. Truthfully it seems draining and tiring. I’m always asked why I don’t go, especially being a New Yorker, and I get crazy looks when I say I’m just not into it. I like shopping and clothes but I’m not actually a “fashion” lover. It just wouldn’t be me if I forced myself to go just to have something to blog about and share on Insta.

  7. Thanks so much for sharing!!

  8. Betty Ann Graham says:

    Absolutely loved this. Appreciate your truthfulness and it is something (besides your great content) that I have always admired about you as a blogger! Thanks for keeping the creative vibes but also sharing how it isn’t all “real life,” we all have issues under our picture-perfect Instagram. From one double-name person to another, love it Jess Ann!

  9. Jenny says:

    Thank you for sharing this honest perspective! My blog has a small following, but I’ve been daydreaming over whether I’d go to fashion week if I ever had the chance. My thoughts are leaning more toward yours, in that I would ask myself why I was there and not have a satisfactory answer to give. I’m glad there is someone else like you out there to share this perspective with your readers 🙂

  10. Marina says:

    I’m a new subscriber to your blog and love your content and style. I find your voice refreshingly honest and free of pretense. I’ve often wondered if all bloggers enjoyed Fashion Week. Outside of getting some hints about up and coming trends, I think most fashion week looks are over the top and not very wearable. Thanks for putting it all out there!

  11. Love this post so much! I used to have a fashion blog and it wasn’t even big at all and yet I totally 100% felt that pressure to go to Fashion Week!

    I am impressed by your awareness to realize that it actually served no purpose for you and your blog and had the courage to just say nope, not doing it. You are absolutely doing just fine without it! If I want fashion week content, there are so many other places to find it and I always appreciate your approachable everyday posts.

    xo Mary-Katherine
    http://www.goldhattedlover.com

  12. Amanda says:

    I had trouble getting into fashion week as well. I look at the styles they show and think “no way will that work in the everyday world”. That is why I love your style so much—I can not only relate to it but I can also wear it! I also want to say that I am loving how you are going from just fashion to lifestyle blogger.

  13. Izikova says:

    It’s important to do what makes you feel good. No one can make you attend fashion weeks if you don’t need this, Anyway, you have a nice style even if you’re not attending the fashion shows.
    http://izikova.pl

  14. Betsy says:

    I’ve been struggling with end of career issues, Jess. “What am I doing here?” really made me pause and think. Fashion week is not my thing and fashion, in general, was not what attracted me to your blog. The topics you cover are meaningful and relevant to so many people. Am I struggling with self doubt? Heck, yeah. Why do I feel like a phony? Argh! Yeah, sometimes I do feel like I’m faking it. Expressing my opinion when it may hurt or backfire? It’s hard and yes, I struggle. These, and some many others, are issues ALL of us women grapple with on a day to day basis. Thanks for being so genuine and telling it like it is, with kindness and love. The article was about why you gave up fashion week, but it goes way deeper than that and this is why you are one of my favorite bloggers. xox

  15. pictaram says:

    Actually I’m not into about fashion week, too 🙂 I like your blog because of the posts you share. Just do what you love <3

  16. Vanessa says:

    I really appreciated the honesty in this post. That’s what I love so much about your blog – it’s always so refreshingly honest compared to a lot of the other lifestyle blogs I read. You don’t mince words and you’ve always been really direct and sincere when it comes to explaining the behind-the-scenes stuff to us.

    Fashion Week has become a total nightmare over the past decade or so and I totally blame the internet and social media for its downfall. I studied Fashion in college about 15 years ago and back then, Fashion Week was still mostly about the collections. It wasn’t about the people sitting in the front row or about street style.

  17. Aulikki says:

    Thank you for your insightful comments. I have struggled for a long time with my own feelings of not being “enough”! Your perspective is very refreshing!

  18. Clare says:

    And this is exactly why we are loyal readers of your blog! Thank you for always being real!
    Plus..do you have idea how many things I’ve purchased because I’ve seen them here?

  19. chelsea says:

    Love this post! So authentic and real. xox

  20. Jess says:

    Thanks for writing this. It’s super refreshing. I love that your work is purposeful and true to you. I believe it helps your readers connect more to you. I really love how you keep it real.

  21. Floria lena says:

    I love your post because of your truth towards fashion week. Thanks for sharing honest perspective through this post.

  22. Christine Dumas says:

    Love this Jess. Your honesty and your desire to be truthful to yourself and not feel like you have to fit in is what truly makes you one of my favs!